But you take pleasure in the faces
of those who know they thirst.
You cherish those
who grip you for survival.
– Rilke’s Book of Hours: I, 14
I know that I thirst. I know it with a depth of certainty I have for only a few things. It is the desert after all – what else does one do out here besides thirst?
And grip You for survival. Do You see? I am gripping, clinging. All my life force is wrapped around You. I cannot let go. I will not let go. Do You see? I choose You. I am choosing You day after silent day, even when I cannot see.
I cannot see Your pleasure. I cannot see Your eyes light up with the truth of cherished. I cannot see.
But still I thirst. Still I grip. Because if I do not have You, I have nothing. This I know. It is all at once my torment and my hope.
You. Only You.
*I recently purchased a copy of Rilke’s Book of Hours and oh my goodness – it is so beautiful and so intimate. I find myself able to articulate things from deep places in my heart as I contemplate his words and have decide to write my way through some of them. It will be a series of sorts, as various poems resonate with me and prompt a response. Consider yourself invited to eavesdrop on my vulnerable dialogue with God here.